Earlier in the week, I felt a sense of belonging that had been lacking in my life.

It was Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes."

This one song has been a part of so many important parts of my college career.

Let me explain -- The sound teams we use all use "In Your Eyes" to calibrate their speakers, because they know exactly how it's supposed to sound.

I've heard this song clear across town during Orientation setup.

And they play it over, and over, and over, and over again.

Regardless of the justification, it's permanently associated with my experience in this troupe.

Whenever I walk into the ballroom and hear this song, I feel a sort of happiness and satisfaction roll through me when I hear it.

It's because I know I'm home.

But as the week has rolled on, I've found the show somewhat empty. There's something missing, and I think it's a bond between the cast members. There are too many personal agendas in the show. That, and half the cast is sick.

It makes me sad.

On another note, the run crew is soooo incompetent right now. Cindrella's house is being placed in the wrong place every time, nullifying our blocking. The birds were left onstage during the whole first act, but not used during the scene where they're supposed to blind us. They keep moving the props without telling us DURING runs. They left our chair onstage so we couldn't use it for 2 subsequent scenes. They waste their time pulling pranks with a Gateway box draped over the cow.

If the show falters, that's going to be the straw that breaks the cow's back, so to speak.

And let's not TALK about the lighting staff...

(OK, I lied. Let's talk about it.)

First off, the lighting designer spends most of her time cuddling with her girlfriend, not looking at what's going on onstage. She also refuses to budge willingly from her design, which included NO FRONTLIGHT. You couldn't see the actors' faces at all for the first 2 days of runs onstage.

This isn't a vanity thing - people ACT with their BODIES AND FACES and those NEED TO BE SEEN ... that's kind of the point of theatre. I would expect her to know better.

Thankfully, the director threw a hissy fit and forced her to add a few frontlights. It still doesn't really work great, but at least you can see our faces a bit more.

But now, of course, she's being all hissy herself, and most of the cast wants to beat the shit out of her.

fucking sidelights.

We'll see how it goes. We'll see if we get an audience. We have problems with PR in most circumstances, and we often compete with the School of Drama n a losing battle for student audiences and respect.

such is life in this troupe.

4.5 hours until call.

in your eyes -

the light, the heat

your eyes, i feel complete

your eyes, i see the doorways

of a thousand churches

your eyes