Well, I WAS going to spend the whole night watching �I Love the 80�s� on VH1, but apparently we don�t GET VH1 after 5PM. (@#%#ers!!!!)

So instead, I shall take this opportunity to look back at the year and see just how thankful I am to be standing here in one piece in 2004.

January

I joined the other students in my grad program on the traditional Trip to the West Coast. Visited California for the first time. Spent hours eating fruit in the hot tub at the Carlsbad Hilton. Went to Disneyland, Pixar, Imagineering, Hollywood. Spent 22 hours in Vegas. Got drunk with old friends (Larn and Obi) in a San Francisco Holiday Inn. Watched Hunter play Gollum in a creek in a national forest. Had a wonderful time.

I was assigned to a new project group in said grad program, making a museum installation with digital versions of creepy rare puppets.

Classes began for the best experience of my college career � my Game Design class.

I started working part-time for the design firm I worked for back in the summer after my junior year. It was very surreal.

I started taking kickboxing again, with old friend Reagan. I stopped biting my nails. I got sick of my doctor�s delays in taking me off of anti-depression drugs�so I stopped seeing my psychiatrist. I stopped taking Prozac.

February

Auditioned for Into the Woods. Got cast, as evil stepsister Florinda.

I began feeling the effects of a Prozac-free life. I decided to stick it out through the oncoming depression and hold my ground. No more mood-altering drugs.

March

Attended the 2003 Game Developer�s Conference in San Jose, CA. Interviewed with a few people and began networking. I also visited with old friends Larn and Obi. Learned a bunch about the video game industry and got chased by some geekboys while there.

I became increasingly frustrated with grad school life, and HORRIBLY frustrated with my advisor Brenda.

I interviewed with SimCompany, a major video game studio, for a summer internship. One hour later, I received an offer for said internship, which I accepted with some trepidation. Two weeks later, Hunter was also offered an internship at SimCompany.

April

April brought the performances of Into The Woods (which is, by the way, my favorite play ever.) My costume was constructed with better scaffolding than most bridges, causing me to fear that my boobs would get more stage time than I would. As for the show itself, the first performance was a little rough - but the last three went amazingly well. A fantastic experience.

I auditioned for a small play festival and was cast as the slightly ditzy �other woman� in a play called �Fidelity�.

I got VERY upset at advisor Brenda, and began considering dropping from the program. The high-pressure end of semester almost killed me � if it weren�t for Fidelity I might not have made it.

May

We performed Fidelity and had a marvelous time doing it. My costume this time was a little slip from Victoria�s Secret that left little to the imagination. I spent the better part of two days running around in that thing. As it turned out, Fidelity was my last show with my beloved college theatre troupe, although I didn�t know it at the time.

We said our goodbyes in Pittsburgh, and then left for a weeklong drive across the country to begin work at SimCompany. [No, I never did write about the crosscountry trip. Someday�]

June

The Month in which Athena Discovers She Is Completely Broke (by bouncing a cable bill payment).

Fresh off of that news, I apply for 2003-2004 grad school aid, only to be rejected. I can�t get enough money to cover tuition without a cosigner.

As if things couldn�t get any worse, I find out that my father is actually $313,000 in debt and that my mother�s only recourse, since some of it is on joint credit cards, is to divorce him before the bankruptcy clears. This also makes my parents less than eligible cosigners, making me both broke and Officially Screwed on tuition.

Work is continuing � I am slowly getting used to SimCompany, but I don�t feel needed enough. The few highlights are the nights I go swing dancing in San Francisco.

July

Depressed. Everything that can go wrong is going wrong in my personal life. Reeeally starting to feel like I need that Prozac again.

Began looking for full-time work. Not very successful. Still interning at SimCompany, but having a hard time concentrating.

Visited friends in LA. Attended the Walt Disney Company party and subsequently got very drunk. Much needed break. At work, I am given writing tasks, and I gain respect as a producer while contributing creatively to the game. Yay.

In late July, I find out that I�ve been offered a fall co-op, and will be employed until December. This is no minor miracle. I love my HR rep. Happy crying ensues. My mood improves significantly.

On July 28th, my aunt informs me that my mother found a suicide note from my father, laying near a pile of information on gun shops. I also find out that the note refers to �the loss of his beloved wife�, which is immediately interpreted as a death threat against my mother.

Mood is no longer good.

August

Things are quiet for awhile, and during the day I am at peace. But at night I have nightmares about my father killing my mother and brothers in a murderous rage.

I finish my work on the SimExpansionPack team for the summer and I am transferred to the Console team for the fall.

Faced with a complete lack of fundage, I went on a leave of absence from my grad program. I took a trip to Pittsburgh to tie up loose ends and got quite depressed about abandoning that part of my life. I just didn�t feel like I had a home anymore.

September

My father left the house with the intent to kill himself. He took $500 in cash and left a 12-page suicide note for my mom telling her, essentially, that it was all her fault. He then left a voicemail at work for her telling her where to find the body. My mother and my little brother spend the night in the police station with an APB out for my father�s car. She called my other brother at school in Boston to warn him: Dad might be coming after you.

10 hours later, my father broke into the house (the locks had been changed) and told my mom he would get help if she would take him back. He began seeing a therapist. Kyle, the little brother who witnessed the ordeal, didn�t talk to Dad for months. Doug and I feared that he might still try and hurt them.

Even after this denouement, I continued to have nightmares and cry at random intervals and Hunter got me through the mess.

At work, I develop a good working relationship with the Game Boy producer, and she gives me more and more work on her project.

October

I was given a great deal of responsibility at work � managing a 6-person test team of internationals � and I managed to get signoff from all countries on time, making a very good impression on the Important People. In late October I am offered a full-time position with the handheld Console team, and I gladly accept it � my prayers have been answered, and I�ve finally entered the adult world.

In other news, my first game hits shelves late in the month!

November

Hunter also receives a full-time offer, and we move into a larger apartment in light of our new situation. We also make arrangements and move out from our Pittsburgh apartment for good, shipping all of our stuff to California. I accept help in packing from my family, and this marks the first time I�ve seen my father since the suicide attempt. Things go remarkably well, all things considered.

Work goes very well � I am asked to contribute my writing skills to our major in-progress project, which is a huge compliment. I am left in charge of the Game Boy project while my boss is away all month.

December

December brings my next 2 shipped titles, my 23rd birthday, my first day of full-time employment, and my first business trip. A wonderful month. Our stuff arrives from Pittsburgh and we are officially permanent California residents. I threw a birthday party at the new place and get to see many old and familiar faces. I haven�t been this happy in�well, perhaps ever.

Christmas is spent at home, where my family is on good behavior, although no mention is made of The Incident. I catch up with the three remaining high school friends � Vicki, Liz, and Kim � who will all be in school for many years to come. The year ends with Hunter and I cuddling on our couch in California, sipping champagne and watching the ball drop on our TV.

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It�s been a hell of a year, but I�m happier now than I have been in a long, long, time � and I feel very blessed. Here�s hoping that 2004 is better for everyone � happy new year!