...I feel a slight bit better-equipped to deal with crap today.

But still not great. After all, explaining my current situation to most people elicits a sort of stunned silence.

And my brother tells me that my mother is "sad that I haven't called in awhile."

Well, the fact is, Mom, I'm afraid to talk to you. Are you getting a divorce? Don't wanna know, can't handle it. Did we lose the house? Ditto. I can barely handle my own life locally - let alone that crap.

Not to mention that she basically depends upon me for her sanity checks. She wants to hear that things are fine, I'm doing great - not that I'll be out of school and out of a job and across the country in a month and a half.

So much as it may hurt her, I really have to put that call on hold.

---

But today had a few highlights. The Candy Train next to my desk has been running recently.

I also got a gift of a couple of Pikachu stickers from some of my coworkers - I guess it's time for the annual "mid-internship Pokemon offering".

(Last summer, my boss came in with a small Pichu figurine that he had found in the parking lot, of all places. He asked if we knew what it was, and I had to bite my tongue so I didn't sound like a pre-teen fangirl. I adopted it and it's over my computer monitor at home now.)

I'm going to try to down my sorrows tonight in alcohol and Settlers, Cities, Knights, and Seafarers of Catan.

Yes, all four at once.

I've been searching for jobs on the Internet. Boy, it looks bleak.

If I didn't have to pay off my grad school loans, I might just be tempted to run away to Disney World and work there till I find better work.

It's not out of the question. I'm going to file it away under "Plans that will Lead to Suntans and Poverty."

Yeah.

I wish "computer science" wasn't such a seemingly useless skill. They really didn't prepare us for real employment, choosing rather to focus on esoteric theory and "is that REALLY NP-complete?"

But then - I wish the walls were full of gold.

I wish the world was full of jobs.

I wish a lot of things.

Have a good 4th of July.

(and a shout-out to moviegrrl, who needs hugs about this stuff just as much as I do.)