To The Freakish Pinball Geek

(You Know Who You Are)

C/O SimCompany

Mr. Freakish: it has come to my client Athena's attention that you have a propensity for hogging the fine free-play Medieval Madness pinball table located in SimCompany's multi-purpose-room.

In fact, your pinball-playing habits continue even when there are meetings in the MPR - forcing management to put up common-sense signage instructing employees (read: you) not to disrupt meetings with that machine.

In addition, independent sources report that you have proven incompetent in job-related tasks: checking broken families into source control and the like. Speculation has been raised as to whether you actually contribute any work to the company.

As a matter of advice, Mr. Freakish, it does not improve one's character or one's standing at work to play pinball all day. While Medieval Madness is indeed a fine and well-respected specimen of a pinball game, playing it incessantly does not, in fact, make you a better person or employee. Perhaps allowing others to play on the table will provide you time for life's little joys like bathing and regular exercise.

Regardless, in lack of the evidence on the table, my client and I must formally request that you stop being so lame. Please cease and desist all aforementioned examples of lameness and stupidity immediately, and dispatch yourself to a shower at the earliest possible date.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

P.S. Who's Tommy? Not you.