Well, Christmas wasn�t so bad - this year.

Leaving for the BART yesterday AM was crappy crappy crappy. I needed to be out the door by 5AM, on very little sleep � and it was pouring rain, so I had to walk the distance from the office parking to the BART with two suitcases and a laptop bag, getting soaked.

It didn�t put me in the holiday spirit.

The airport was a fucking mess. It was not as bad as it could have been, but I couldn�t shake that 1984 feeling when they kept announcing over the loudspeaker �We are currently in Homeland Security Terror Alert Level Orange.... Please help us to keep the airport secure...�

(On a related note, no one seems to agree on what the alert is CALLED. I heard any number of adjectives tossed on around �Level Orange� � e.g. �Governmental Alert Hyper Questioning Meter� � certainly doesn�t make it sound very official.)

The flight itself was slightly delayed. Rain everywhere. But we eventually took off. I gave up my aisle seat for a deaf father who wanted to sit with his family, but I got a window seat out of the bargain. The person next to me ended up switching to sit with his wife, which put a late-twenties marketing professional named... Chris? next to me. I started a conversation with him based on what he was reading � the Da Vinci Code � and found out that he actually went to school in the same city I did, albeit much earlier. He was nice.

This was the first time I ever got a non-dairy meal on a flight. I�ve requested them on several occasions and been denied, but this time I booked on the United website and requested a vegan non-dairy meal. Good choice... I was the first person on the plane to get served [everyone else got their food about an hour after me due to turbulence] and it was quite tasty. Mmmm. And no dairy. I�m lactose intolerant and I�m sick of plane breakfasts:�We�ve got ham and cheese, egg and cheese, and cheese and cheese!�

At one point, the deaf little girl in the row in front of us � who had been playing peekaboo with us earlier � popped up and started trying to communicate with me. In sign language. Break my heart. I just smiled and kept nodding to her, but I couldn�t figure out what she was saying. :(

Less pleasant was when the infant on the aisle of my row threw up into the aisle 20 minutes before we landed. It could have been worse: she could have vomited earlier, or worse: she could have had worse aim. Ew. But the smell and the stuffiness and the sitting for 5 and a half hours gave me a stupendous migraine, which put me in a less than good mood when I finally saw my family in the terminal.

The reunion was ...mild. They were all glad to see me but it was, frankly, just a bit on the awkward side.

We had dinner at Olive Garden where I got grilled on life in the videogame industry. That�s fine: it�s something to talk about, and it is obviously a subject that is inspiring my little brother to do well in school.

When I came home and went to freshen up in the upstairs bathroom, I beheld a frightening sight: Mary-Kate and Ashley Toothpaste. Now, Kyle is the only one who �lives� here anymore. So it�s his. And I�m really scared. That shit should be illegal. How foul that he puts MK&A branded stuff into his mouth on a daily basis!

Traditionally my family does the �kid� gift exchange on Xmas eve: partially because we used to be impatient little buggers and partially because it helps to keep those gifts by being overshadowed by my parents� excesses the next day. Kyle got me X2 on DVD [a sweet gift, but it was awkward when my parents got me the same thing this morning, and I had to quickly hide it to spare kyle�s feelings.]. Doug got me South Park Season 2 [I asked for it] � but he also managed to track down an extremely rare set of Yankee Candle tealights in Christmas Cookie. I�ve honestly been looking for those for years. I love the Christmas Cookie scent. Go Doug.

Apparently, Doug is actually into wrapping presents now. He was really elaborate. He also (wait for it) got a matching bag and tissue paper for the candles. Before we know it, he may be the next member of the Fab Five.

Christmas was as expected. I was awakened by 9AM, mercilessly photographed, and dragged downstairs. They turned on a local TV station which was airing � I kid you not � 5 straight hours of footage of a fireplace, called �Yule Log�.

It turned out to be the Christmas of the Geeks. I did in fact get a 20GB iPod [which I have dubbed iPika :)], as well as a firewire PCI card and a 200GB internal hard drive. Mom was kind of hit or miss on the clothes this year (um, a jean jacket with a fur collar? What was she THINKING?) But who am I to complain, really? It was all very generous. Mom definitely went overboard � I mean, I love my iPod but I never intended for her to buy it. Kyle got a Tivo [for his ROOM � we already have TWO] and a bunch of video games, and Doug got a Firewire hard drive, a Radeon video card, and some other stuff like Deep Space Nine DVD sets. Oh, and a new starter for his Jeep. �One of these things is not like the other.� Dad made off like a bandit with a bunch of stuff I won�t go into. I remember when it was a big deal to get a SINGLE video game. Call it Christmas Inflation.

As if it was the 1980�s, the most popular gift of the morning for the boys was their GIJOE Lego sets. They were smashing each other all morning. And firing missiles.

In the end, all of the family�s overboard excesses at Christmas come out feeling sort of empty. We�re buying love over here. Or at least trying to prove our love by flexing those wallets. My family has always tried to fall back on buying crap for their kids when we find ourselves emotionally bankrupt. Maybe a better present would have been to sit down and talk through what happened this year. But that�s wishful thinking.

Then we had Christmas dinner, which is identical to thanksgiving dinner but, you know, on a different day. Not only does Doug like wrapping presents now, but he EATS VEGETABLES. I�m really sort of scared here.

We haven�t left for The Holiday Family Movie yet. We also didn�t do Mass. I honestly sort of wanted to go � it�s been a long while since I�ve been in a place of worship and wouldn�t have minded the chance for reflection. Oh well.

Ah, Doug is playing SimCity. Yay present not sucking.

But now the question stands: what to do for the rest of vacation? Christmas is almost easy, since you�re distracted by the STUFF. It�s the aftermath that gets hard. Tomorrow I�m supposed to be meeting old HS friends to catch up � they�re only in town tomorrow. Later, I want to go to New York on a Pika Pilgrimage.

I miss Hunthunt.

Ah well. Time to change into something more comfortable and continue �celebrating.� I may seem a bit cynical [Scrooge much?] but I�m glad my family is at least talking to each other. There�s a pile of unopened cards and packages from family my mother isn�t speaking to. Sad as that is, that could be each of us, infighting with silence.

So we have God to thank for that, and for Dad's apparent improved mental health.

Here's hoping your families are well.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!