I had written a long entry about stupid things like makeup and shopping, but I got a BSOD. Maybe that was my computer telling me to shut the hell up.

My cell phone rang today - caller ID said "Vicki". Last time I had heard from her was about the engagement. I wondered if there was some other wedding-related news.

Immediately after picking up the phone, I could tell something was wrong. Vicki's voice was breaking up. I had to turn down my damned music (how could I have known?) and I asked her if she was OK. "Oh god, what if they broke off the engagement?" I wondered.

"My dad died today."

It came as a complete surprise - her dad was active and healthy (besides smoking.) He went to lunch with some of his friends, and he became cold and clammy. Suddenly he collapsed, and never woke up despite attempts to revive him.

Vicki's dad was around a lot in the old days. I've known her and her family since second grade. Went on family vacations with them. Her dad was intelligent and witty, an upstanding Irish guy, well liked in the community - he held city council positions and the like until very recently.

There was just no warning. Just weeks after the engagement - he won't be there to walk Vicki down the aisle.

And dammit, what the hell do you say? I managed not to cry - this is NOT about me, must be strong - but all I could really manage was 4,000 variants of "i'm so sorry". Brilliant, that. And of course told her to call whenever she needed to talk (she was doing the list of people who knew her family, i was close to the top, so it couldn't be a long call...)

I don't know if I should go to the funeral. There's no right answer. Not even sure if I can, since I'm either going to Seattle this weekend or early next week for work. I know the funeral won't be right away, since they have to do an autopsy. But it's back in Philly, 6 hours each way, and can I even get the time off? And I know Vicki's not alone, that she's home now with her family and Joe (I assume), but it still feels like maybe I should hop on a plane to be there. I don't know.

In unrelated but strangely creepy news, when I called my mom to tell her, she told me that the grocery store a few blocks from our house burned to the ground. Something strange and altogether bad is in the air back home.

Poor Vicki.

Nothing I can do now but be here in case she needs me. And hope that someone's taking good care of her dad, wherever he is.