a new year
2005-01-14 - 9:09 p.m.

Conclusion, and a New Beginning
2004-11-06 - 1:54 p.m.

-
2004-09-01 - 6:19 p.m.

midnight
2004-08-23 - 5:24 p.m.

where I went, and where I'm going
2004-07-27 - 8:05 a.m.



run DMV
2004-02-03 6:22 p.m.

Yesterday morning was spent in an epic battle at the DMV, running from corrupt government operatives.

Actually, it was two and a half hours of standing in line with the entire Spanish-speaking population of California and a seeing-eye dog.

But who's counting?

Hunter had wanted to go and get his license and registration, and I wanted to go register to vote, since I mistakenly thought the deadline for primary voters was Feb 2nd. I couldn't do that as a resident of Pennsylvania, so I needed to get a new license.

I was going to walk to work after getting my license, to let Hunter work on his own schedule or whatever. But instead of sun, there was a typhoon, so the car was a necessary instrument.

Hunt went to go get a smog check with the trusty old Jetta, and I went into the local DMV where I promptly discovered that they had no copies of the license applications in English.

Helpful, that.

After tracking an English copy down [there were a few at the information desk beside an elderly clerk with eyeglasses larger than her hands] I joined the line. I proved a failure at answering questions like "Is this an original permit/license or a renewal?" since transferring from another state really doesn't seem like either, does it?

About an hour and a half later, I'm still in line. For a long time, they have ONE single teller working to serve a 50 person line. It's super-awesome.

It doesn't help that the CA DMV is apparently stuck in the Jurassic period. The signage is vintage 1962, and the computers? Ha! There's this one computer monitor facing the line, purportedly telling where the next open window is. It's an EGA monitor with the background color stuck in brilliant fuschia. There's a lot of text burned into it from the 50 years of service it must have seen. Apparently the system always thought Window #11 was open, even though there was no one there.

Call me a hoity-toity techno snob, but I miss the Pennsylvania DMV. Everything was on computers back in '98, they let you see your picture and even retake it if it's crappy... and they gave you your real live license right then and there, complete with holographic overprint!

Here you wait 3 hours in line to get a dot matrix printout saying you will get a license in between 3 and 28 weeks.

Sigh.

Apparently, when transfering a valid license, CA requires you to take the written test. Now, I had actually made an effort to study. I picked up a CA driver's guide months ago and took all of the online quizzes.

But when the time came to take my written test, there was totally stuff I had never seen before, like esoteric stuff about fucking trolleys. I ended up getting 7 questions wrong. You needed 6 to pass.

Oops.

And you know what? I missed the damned which-way-do-you-point-the-wheels-on-a-road question. I ALWAYS study those, and I ALWAYS miss those.

I know in practice that you point the wheels so that gravity won't pull your car into oncoming traffic. But when you word it like "When the car is on a downhill incline and you're facing south, should a parked car's wheels be pointing towards the sun or the moon?", well, I just might miss it.

Fuckers.

Of course, everything here is on paper, so I had to watch Mr. TestGiver compare my test with a paper key and mark questions wrong one-by-one. He was enjoying it too. Bastard.

(I was worried at first that the penalty for failing was a retake of the driving test, which is a problem. Why, you say? Well, because in The Land of the Strip Malls where I grew up, parking lots grow on trees, and parallel parking isn't on the exam. That's right. I'm 23, I live in the Bay Area, and I don't know how to parallel park. Go ahead, laugh.)

Anyway, when the test-giver-and-grader guy said I had two more attempts at the written, I eagerly replied, "Well, can I take it again right now?"

Fuck if I'm going to wait in line AGAIN to take a goddamned multiple choice test. Besides, the nervousness about failing again and losing my license would have killed me. All for one stupid question!

The test-giver, obviously hopped up on the power of telling people they have failed, said, "Well, yes, but I strongly reccomend taking the guide home and..."

"I want to take it again right now, please."

What I DIDN'T say was "I'm PMSing and late for work and I'm tired and I have a clean driving record for 7 years and I'm wearing heels and I STUDIED the damned guide so give me the damn test."

So Mr. TestGiver grudgingly gave me the test after I studied what I got wrong. And what do you know? On the new test, there were no repeated questions and I STILL got only TWO wrong.

See? I DO know how to drive.

When the grader-guy got done, he was obviously not pleased that I had ignored his advice and yet lived to pass the test. Grudgingly, he gave me my temporary license and told me my real CA one would arrive in 3 weeks.

But before he returned my PA license, he punched holes in it, since it was no longer valid. It seemed like such an unceremonious way to say goodbye to an old friend. I liked my PA license. I had a decent license picture, even though my hair was down to my boobs at the time. It was my first legal drinking license, even though it said "Under 21 until Blah Blah 1980".

Fare thee well, PA license. We had some good times. You will be missed.

playing:
N-Gage, yo.

reading:
Scads of game text

feeling:
Hungry

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