10:55 a.m. - 2004-06-15
i missed the trumpets
When I was a little girl, I always assumed that when you were "grown-up", you'd know.
Even during high school and college, part of me thought that a switch would flip or a trumpet would sound to altert me to the fact that This Is The First Day of the Rest of Your Life.
That never happened.
So here I am, out of college for over a year, and I feel sometimes like I never left.
One of my girlfriends and I were talking about kids, for whatever reason [we're not normally given to such discussion] and I realized that the previous excuse for not wanting to get pregnant - i.e. "I'm in school" - doesn't work anymore. That's not to say that "I'm not ready" isn't a viable excuse - Lord knows I'll be chanting that refrain for years to come - but I missed the point when it stopped being the Smart Thing To Do and started being a personal choice.
I feel so much older than 23. I feel like I might turn 30 tomorrow if I didn't watch my back. I have car payments and insurance payments and INSANE rent and cell phone payments - I even had to start keeping a budget.
But at the same time, when I spend time with Lakshmi and Mayhew it's like we never left our junior year. Hell, we even started playing Pokemon Puzzle League again. [But no one will ever play me since I am virtually undefeated. :( ]
But maybe part of the reason I feel so old is because many of my friends are older than me, but not yet where Hunter and I are - settled with full-time jobs. We're so practically married. You know, November will be our 5-year anniversary. That's half a decade.
And on Friday night, he used the M-word for the first time. He was talking with a guy friend and mentioned half-jokingly that "I'm going to marry a Muppet."
I think I'm almost ready for that - Lord knows it wouldn't be much different from the life we're leading now. It would just be a hassle planning a wedding.
(I'm going to throw up my hands and get married at Disney World just so they can take care of everything for me. )
We've gone from worrying about getting cast in shows to worrying about the state of the video game industry and job promotions.
But for now, with Lak and M3 here, we have one more summer to relive our past before we really grow up.
