The only thing consoling me today is the vastness of my flowing hippie bell sleeves.

I'm like a 2-year old sometimes, especially when it comes to clothing with copious amounts of extra fabric in silly places. "Wheee!" I identify with Anne of Green Gables and her "damned puffy sleeves" even though I prefer cascading to droopy, thank you.

Don't let my candid banter fool you into thinking all is calm and proper here in Video Game Girl land. Oh, no. The Depression simply won't have any of that. I can count the number of times I've almost cried today on two hands.

(Although I do want to say "thank you" to those who have left kind messages - they really do cheer a girl up, and I'm glad my ramblings can make someone else smile.)

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Today, the weather has gone from bad to worse. We walked to the Indian lunch buffet downtown - "we" being Hunt, D, and their teammate Thomas. The wind was so amazingly strong that walking forward was truly an effort, and my hair by the end had turned into an elaborately braided veil of knots. Really quite charming, if you like not being able to run your hands through your hair and all.

Of course, I will say this: it is impossible NOT to feel like you are a badass from the Matrix while your long black coat is billowing fiercely behind you.

Even when you're wearing a turquoise blue fuzzy scarf that evokes memories of Sully from Monsters, Inc. (What? Sully's TOTALLY badass!)

After lunch and the exceptionally turbulent walk back, I had a meeting scheduled with our "relocation specialist."

I walked in with my package in a manila envelope, already sort of broken and on the brink of tears. Miraculously, I did not cry despite needing to release - I didn't want to spend the rest of the day wiping runny mascara from my eyes onto the backs of my hands. That's not to say I didn't come close - my voice wavered the entire time in that pathetic, uncontrollable, fainting-woman sort of way. Totally deer-in-headlights. I despise it when I get to that point, but at this point I have little control over anything.

We went through my situation - November's move, the need for a second car, the fact that we're still paying rent on two apartments already. The fact that my boss is out of the country and I have to ship a game in two weeks. The whole time, the relo specialist looked at me with a genuine "Gee, she's really fucked" expression on his face. He seemed to disapprove of the way our original move was handled ("that's a small stipend", he said of those relocation offers - "and they probably just told you to take care of it yourself, right?") The thing that really shocked him was the whole double-rent situation. He really seemed to think that was ridiculous, especially when combined with the fact that they are not currently guaranteeing to buy out our lease if necessary.

He didn't quite come off as a "champion" for getting me help - he seemed too realistic for that. But he decided that he needed to talk to the execs about my case. I don't know what they will do. They're not going to give me enough to get a car, of course. The best I can hope for is perhaps a guarantee that they will buy out the current 9-month lease, and maybe a paid realtor to help.

I'll tell you one thing, though. Requisite "happiness to have a decent job" aside, I am fucking pissed. I'm pissed that we got shafted on the original relo packages. I'm pissed that they didn't help more with the Pgh lease. I'm pissed that they haven't guaranteed that they will take care of our current lease, despite constant pressure to move. I'll tell you one thing: I WILL NOT move if there is ANY chance I will be doubly liable for rent. I will not throw any more of my money down the toilet for this company.

This whole move situation has awakened both The Depression and my innate "Don't Fuck With Me" reflex. A really good idea, if you like combining The Hulk with Wolverine. (Okay, so that would be pretty cool.) Be warned, all ye who dare to tread near these besieged lands! The Athenabeast is at hand!

(Oh, yeah. That's real intimidating, Athena. I'm sure they'll bow to your demands now.)