11:54 p.m. - 2004-06-18
thinking of you on Father's Day
Dear Hallmark Cards,
I went looking for a Father's Day card today - a little belated, yes, but I've never been the perfect daughter. (I've actually sort of been avoiding the whole holiday, to be honest.)
Unfortunately, the current selection fell short of expressing my sentiments this year.
Might I humbly suggest a card based on the following?
"To Dad, From All Of Us:
As the family that loves you,
After these battles long fought,
We're so glad you've recovered
From your homicidal thoughts.
We were a little worried
When you left that suicide note
Or that time with the double obituary
You know, that cry for help you wrote?
We're delighted you didn't kill yourself
Or hurt us with that gun you had.
We're glad you're not insane anymore -
So, Happy Father's Day, Dad!"
I know it's got narrow market appeal, but in this day and age, perhaps my family isn't the only one who would appreciate such a card.
Thanks for your time -
Sincerely,
muppetathena
PS - Those cards with the cranky old ladies are getting a little old (no pun intended).
